Thursday, August 27, 2009

Wishful Thinking

It took a lot of research for me to believe that this Spain job was legit. And it took very little to convince me it was a scam. Which it was. "Please contact our lawyer to set up a visa- you can email him at"

What lawyer has a hotmail account as their work email?

A fake one- that's for sure. I finally found a discussion board that mentioned that if I replied to my fake contract from a fake hiring agent, I'd be asked to give them money, making it a huge fraud. Instead of turning them into the police, which would be pointless, or instead of sending a rather scathing email, I've decided all of my junk mail will now be going to Feel free to use that at any site that is going to send you junk. :) (I'm partially kidding...)

I was a little upset at first, but having scheduled a massage today, I decided it wasn't worth being upset over. I did ask God to close the door if it wasn't right- I guess I wasn't expecting him to slam it quite that hard, however.

After a wonderful afternoon in Fort Collins, I'm back to square one and I'm not 100% where to look for doors to open. I do know that God is spectacular at closing the wrong ones so here goes nothing...

Wednesday, August 26, 2009


I have a confession:
I'm afraid of pretty much everything.

I'm afraid to get close to people, I'm afraid of adventure, I'm afraid of doing things I'm not good at, I'm afraid of not succeeding. Until now, my fear has held me back and sometimes I've conquered it. But I can't tell you how many times I've had to learn about fear. There are 5 pages alone in this years journal about fear.

So I'm pretty much scared s**tless about going to Spain. Which seems stupid, right? "Hey Molly, you've got nothing going on in your life, so how about you go spend some time in Europe, traveling around and going everywhere you've ever wanted to go. We'll even put some other people in Europe so you can go visit them and make all of your fantasies about traveling come true?" I'm having one of those 'how stupid am I' moments right now in case you couldn't tell.

So what's my deal? I love my family and it's weird to think that I would go from spending every day with them to seeing them 1-2 times in the next year. I really like speaking English and I love knowing that I have Christian friends around. In a country that's 67% catholic- am I going to find any Christians that speak English? Well I just looked down at my Bible and I got my answer to all of my questions.

"For you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before God in the light of life." Psalm 56:13

Monday, August 24, 2009

A Spain Update

So I received an email this morning I was "approved for candidacy" with the English school in Spain. Which was shocking considering last night I was told that it might not be the safest place in the world to go. But I did a little homework and here's your lesson on current events in Spain:

There's this terrorist group called the ETA. It stands for something I can't pronounce, but they are a group of people for the "freedom" of the Basque country are which is the northern region of spain including the province I would be teaching in- Gipuzkoa. It's heavily mediterarean and they speak Basque (also called Eusklid) rather than straight up Spanish. This group ETA started in 1968 and in the 70s and 80 killed just under 100 people a year in their violence and bombings. They are recognized by the EU, France, Spain and the U.S. as a terrorist group and are trying to cut them down to size. This group kills fewer and fewer people each year and since 2004 ish, they kill less than ten people a year and they typically don't bomb IN Basque country, except for this town called Bilbao.

Moral of the lesson today? I'm probably just as safe in San Sebastian in Gipuzkoa than I am in Denver, CO. and San Sebastian is a whopping 45-60 minutes from the French border where I could easily escape to if need be.

Here's hoping that this is a God-opened door and if it isn't, pray that God will shut this door and open another! However, visiting friends in South Korea and China and trotting all over Europe would be pretty B.A.!!!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Don't pray for adventure if you're not ready for it...

...Actually- you could probably pray for whatever the heck you want to pray for- God knows better and will give you exactly what you need when you need it.

So, I've been applying to hundreds of jobs over the last month and a half. Administrative assistant, program coordinator, marketing jobs and teaching English abroad. The last job I only applied to not really thinking that it would happen, but out of hundreds of applications and cover letters and resumes- I have gotten ONE response... from a job in Spain.

Initially, I was really excited about it. Who wouldn't want to live in Spain? But after being told I will be contacted on Monday for an interview, it became a little bit more real. I haven't spoken much Spanish in 2-3 years, I know very little about Spain and it's culture, and oh yeah! I'VE NEVER BEEN OUT OF THE COUNTRY!!! Well, I've been to Canada, but let's be honest- that doesn't really count.

I prayed for adventure and I am confident that God knows what he's doing... but me on the other hand? Not so much...

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Joy: Lesson Number One

When our founding fathers wrote the declaration of independence and our constitution- I think they got one thing wrong. Yes, we should not be denied life and liberty, but I would argue a distinct difference between the pursuit of happiness and of joy. I would argue that happiness doesn't require much pursuit but joy is nothing but a constant journey.

During my Bible study in the spring, we spent a few minutes talking about the difference between joy and happiness. We concluded that being happy is a result of things that happen to you, whether you initiate them or not. Joy, however, is a piece of work. Joy is type of life you live when everyday is lived in the name of our Lord. Joy takes work.

I love my Bible- most probably have this, but it wasn't until this Bible that I discovered that there's a subject index in the back. I frequently go back there to find verses that relate to a specific word (usually how I come up with my "art"). I went back to this index one day to find verses for "Joy" and it was bizarre reading through the verses. None of them actually mentioned "joy" but all of them mentioned suffering. (Feel free to check them out: 1 Peter 4:12-19; Matthew 5:1-12; John 13:1-17; Galatians 5:16-26; Phillipians 4:4-9; Colossians 1:24; and James 1:2-18)

I think this backs up my theory that it takes significant work to have joy. It takes persevering through suffering to even begin to understand joy.

Romans 5:3-5- "Not only so but we rejoice in our suffering, because we know that suffering produces perseverence; perseverence, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us because God has poured our his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit whom he has given us."

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Resident Evil

It's nice to have a fresh blog to gain fresh perspective. It's one thing to paint on a canvas that you've painted over, but to have a new, perfect canvas seems to stimulate new ideas. With that, seeing the movie "Julie & Julia" today with my Pops, an idea creeped into my head.

God rocks (that's not my idea... just a transition into what I'm thinking) and it's great getting to worship him. But how often do we really focus on the other forces in our life?

It seems to me, in this constant (constant, not consistent, mind you) pursuit of JOY, that we are constantly under two forces: good and evil. While life isn't a Star Wars movie, some days I feel like there is an inherent resident evil simmering under the surface. This boiling mess within me is the voice that tells me I am not good enough, that I'm lazy, or that I'll never amount to much. Much like our decision to become a Christian in the first place, every day is a choice to realize the glory that will be revealed in us by God (Romans 8:18).

I think for us to make this decision, we have to understand two things.
1. We are weak and there is a constant battle over us. In 2 Corinthians 12:9 it says "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." We are human and we are weak, and God has all the power. The weaker we are and the more sin in our lives, the more room there is for God to show His infinite power and grace.

2. God's promises are just that: promises. Romans 4:20-21 "Yet he did not waiver through unbelief regarding the promise of God but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised." And in Hebrews 6:13-20, it is explained that God has promised us things and God cannot lie. So what do we have to worry about? What keeps us from choosing God?

I guess that's another blog for another time...