Expectations...

Someone told me one time that where expectations and reality meet is where frustration lies. Well as of late, maybe my expectations were too high. There seems to be disappointment left and right today and it's hard to keep feeling so let down.

Not much else I can say, I guess. Here's hoping for less frustration.

Customer Service

I've finally come up with the most accurate definition for what it means to have excellent customer service all of the time...

Being able to pretend that people don't annoy you when they're actually bugging the crap out of you.

Yes, today I am a cynic. Days like today are the ones where it seems as though all the world's people decided to all annoy the same person. Obsessive calls, obtrusive visits, and the "it's all about me" bridal complex plagued the Villa Parker. And because I was alone at the Villa this past week, it all fell on my shoulders.

Most days I love my job. I have an amazing view, great bosses, a great assistant, the worlds greatest preferred partner association and the best opportunity to grow in photography. I love my clients and take a point of pride that I know more about my clients than the typical director of sales at wedding venues.

But just because I shouldn't complain, doesn't mean I can't! I'm so glad there's a wedding tomorrow to remind me why I love my job!

Waiting (not so) patiently...

Do I have this yet?!

Contracts

When you sign a contract, you are legally BOUND to an agreement with another entity. So if you sign a contract saying that you don't get a refund for canceling your event, it means.....

YOU DON'T GET A REFUND WHEN YOU CANCEL YOUR EVENT!!!!

You can plead and beg all you want, but beginning the argument with "I know I signed a contract but..." You agree that you are legally tied.

Sorry.

Got it.

So, there's a big difference between being an adult and being in college. Aside from waking up every day and ACTUALLY going to work instead of ditching class... none of the differences have been too horrible to deal with.

Until now.

Even my most difficult summers weren't really that bad. I still managed to get time off and had time to lounge around and do the things I wanted to do. But this summer is a complete 180 from my last. I went from working 10 hours a week and doing 4 hours of school/homework to working 50+ hours a week with hardly any time to myself.

The last two weeks have been so frustrating and I realized that it's been constant work work work. To go from such a relaxing summer to working everyday, it's been quite the adjustment and I'm not sure I'm doing it very well. Today, however, was great. I gave a quick morning tour and was off to a Rockies game with my Pops. Afterwards the folks and I went to dinner and came home to relax and watch a few movies before bed.

I'm hoping that things get a little bit more under control with the wedding season and that I can grab some more fun time and not get burnt out on weddings. (However, I am enjoying all the opportunities to get better at photography!)

Can't I just take pictures?

It's officially been 10 days since my last post and every day I pull up this page to enter a new post. I look at it for a few minutes and then return to facebook. It just feels like every day it's going to be the same story with a different date stamped on it.

Seriously-- this is all I have to say... My job is awesome but somedays the "bridal attitude" is a bit much. (At my house they're no longer referred to as "bride-zillas" but now "bride-villas.") My boyfriend is still in Germany and I'm still in Colorado. I meet the same friends for girls night at the same three places. Week in, week out, it's the same thing over and over... The only part that seems to keep me alive and well right now is taking pictures at events. It gives me something different to do, it gives me a creative outlet and it's something I still not good at so I

have plenty to learn.

Add in learning about SEO and some Glee and there's my life in a nutshell. Particularly for the last three weeks and for the next 4-5 months.

It's NOT all about you.

There's really never very much I have to complain about with my job. Every now and then there's a "My legs hurt" or "I need a day off" but other than that, I have a pretty amazing, cushy life at the Villa.

However these waves come in of brides where it's ALL about them. At least in their minds. They reschedule their tours 80 times, they book a tour and don't show up and never call or email. It's this attitude that our lives don't matter and we should just be here whenever they'd like us to be.

Short of asking them on the phone "Hey, are you actually going to show up, or are you going to waste 2 hours of my life on a Sunday afternoon that I could use doing something fun...?" there doesn't seem to be much I can do to prevent it. Which might be the most frustrating part of the whole ordeal.

GR.

Blarg.

I guess I should maybe update this silly thing...

Well... I'm back from Germany with mixed feelings. I had an amazing time, but when being completely honest, I can say I really don't care for Germany very much. However the Mr. Man is there... I LOVE America, but no Mr. Man.

Bummer.

I'm happy to be back in the States and I'm glad to be here with family and Ms. Cassie Rosch. But I can't help but feel rather jealous of Germany for holding hostage of my other. I'm pretty thankful for how well he took care of me and just how much he's sacrificing in order to serve in Germany.

Yep- That's all I got...

3 days

In three days I leave for Germany.

I should be THRILLED that I'm finally fulfilling my life's dream of visiting Europe! This is my first time out of the United States (excluding Canada and Hawaii... those don't count) so I should be stoked out of my mind, right?

All I can think about is that I'm finally going to get to hang out with the Mr. Man for more than 30 hours. Europe? Cool. Mr. Man? YES PLEASE!!!

And I'm really excited for the plane ride, but that's just because I'm weird and want to sit on a plane for 12 hours.

How to say it nicely...

"Hey Molly, I was just curious how I get into the wedding business? How do I get your job? How do I become a wedding planner?"

I swear, I've gotten this message on facebook, or some derivative of it, at least half a dozen times in the last 6 months. At first it was exciting because it reminded me that I have a stellar job. And while I still believe I have a great job, now it just makes me cry a little bit on the inside.

I keep thinking to myself "Oh no... not another wedding planner in Colorado!" Seriously!! It's the last thing we need. A great wedding planner, which is far and few between, can be a great asset. However, they have to compensate for the dozens upon dozens of self-proclaimed wedding coordinators who care more about which tacky tulle to drape and gather with a handful of fake roses than they do about making sure a timeline is done.

So after receiving yet another message today, I've re-written my reply several times, only to give up out of frustration. How can I gently tell these women to save themselves and the rest of us in the wedding business, and do something else?!?!

A Monday with this certainly does not suck...

Mr. Man sent me a card.

For no reason.

To tell me how much he loved me.

Because he saw a card and it reminded him of me.

Sounds like a keeper, if you ask me!

Without Pain

Well, it's Easter. Chocolate bunnies and eggs, marshmallow peeps, my favorite meal of the year and hanging out with the family. All of this is wonderful aside from the small food nap I was forced into. The day was great, but there was nothing that really stood out from the day except for my time at the gym.

It's been almost 2 years since I've really been at my peak with running. Running is my main source of stress-therapy, weight control, and keeping ADHD under wraps. For three years, running was exactly what I needed. After my knee pain started, everything else in life started to teeter and not having the ability to run, seemed to contribute to my frustration.

Easter meant a lot more to me this year than ever before. After learning last year just what pain God has saved me from, God's sacrifice for us has a little bit more weight. Today understanding what God gave up in order to show me grace was exactly what I needed to push a little bit further with running. If God has saved me from emotional pain, wouldn't he have also saved me from physical pain as well?

After 2 years, I finally made it to running over 30 minutes today! I have no knee pain, no pain in my legs and I only wanted to throw up a little bit ;) (Darn you Easter dinner!!)

Becoming Content

Get ready for some serious hard thinking here, folks... Yes, it does occasionally happen!

I was walking out to my car after a high quality work out and I walked by a set of parents putting their kids in the car. There had been a birthday party of some sort at the gym that day, so lots of kids had been walking out with balloons in tow. As I walked by the family, I saw the little girl's balloon take off into the sky.

Immediately the little girl started bawling inconsolably. I smiled a little bit because what seems so upsetting to her, isn't something worth crying and screaming over. Quickly I realized that I was smiling at someone's misfortune and her parents were watching me, so I shot them a "oh how sad" look and moved on to my car.

I drove away finding myself to be a bit more pensive about the situation than normal. I began to think that some day that little girl will lose her favorite doll and losing a balloon won't seem nearly as bad. Some day that little girl will move away and lose her friends and that suddenly, the loss of a toy, doesn't seem as difficult. She'll lose friends, she'll lose her first boyfriend, she'll get rejected, and it seems as though each new thing is the hardest thing to deal with until something worse comes along.

I kept thinking about how serene the elderly are, because they realize that a lot of things aren't worth crying over. At least out of sorrow, that is. After all that they've seen and all that they've endured, I can imagine it's hard to phase them with something new. After 70-80 years of loss, rejection, and pain, they seem to be pretty content and pretty appreciative of the times that aren't particularly sucky.

I'm sure there's a moral to live by within this all, but I'm still waiting for the caffeine to kick in. Maybe it's simply to know that as bad as things get at the time, know that God will get you through it and things can always get worse. The Lord won't take you where the Lord won't protect you!

Things pertaining to excitement

Starting March 30th, I'm going to start 41 days of crazy/awesome fun.

March and April will both end with a tasting event. These are great because there are 3 main ingredients: 1. Good food and desserts 2. The great people I work with and C. An opportunity to practice taking pictures.

April kicks off with the Great Cassie Rosch's birthday. I'm excited to send her a little something something because those of us born on the lucky 7th day of the month have to stick together!

That weekend will lend itself to TWO amazing things. 1. The actual wedding of Preggo Bride. (If you didn't read my blog post about them, you probably should. It was the most drama I've encountered at my job and was a hilariously ridiculous day.) and 2. The Professional Photographer's workshop at the Villa. Not only do I get to sit in all day and absorb their information and awesomeness, I will also be a model! I will be wearing a big white dress and am (not so) secretly excited about it! I'm even practicing smiling with my eyes and my deconstructed couture poses. Thanks Tyra!

Soon after that, GLEE will re-enter my life which means Britt-Marie will as well! I'm sad it'll be on Tuesdays now, but that will give me something to make sure I leave work promptly at 7PM.

The next weekend will be an 80th birthday party at the Villa, and well... Erika and I seem to love the old people who come to the Villa so it'll be an excellent opportunity to pick up more adopted grandparents.

After a few days to rest and get some good work done, add in two more birthdays and I'll be just HOURS away from seeing Mr. Man in my first European excursion!! I am SO excited to get to see him considering our entire relationship, we've spent a whopping 30 hours together. Oh... and that whole going to Europe, but realistically-- I'm more excited about seeing him!!

This whole stream of events will all be leading up to my first wedding season and I'm excited that I'll get some more practice with my camera before I'll be bombarded with nothing but photo ops.

With just over a week to go until the spree begins, I apologize in advance for the massive amounts of pictures I'll be loading onto facebook. (Of course this all depends on the new foot of snow melting so we can leave the house...)

Grow a Pair

Last night I couldn't write anything about my week. After some more reflection over what seemed to go wrong I came to one conclusions: Somedays, I just have to tell myself to grow a pair.

Not literally, of course, but some days, some pretty negative feelings creep up on me. About 95% of the time, it's related to fear. I know overcoming fear has been an issue for me in the past and I'm certain it will always be something I will need to work on.

This past week was a lot of fear and the side effects of it: timidity, nervousness, and insecurity. I'm thankful for the people in my life who have made it easier to get over my fear, but when push comes to shove, I really just need to grow a pair.

So, here it is plain and simple:

1. Specifically this week, I am SO thankful for Joe and how open and honest he lets me be about my job. I've NEVER had an employer who made it so easy to express my frustrations. Probably partly because I've always worked for A. Dr. J. Steven Moore (who intimidated the crap out of me.) and B. Student Affairs Professionals (who poo-pooed expressing frustrations without the right filter.) Not to say that Erika hasn't done the same, because I've learned a lot from her and love her as a boss, but this week- Joe wins it.

2. I'm sick of brides dictating my life. Nope, sorry, if you don't like that I'm choosing my mom's birthday over giving you a Saturday tour, than please-- book somewhere else!

3. I have the greatest boyfriend EVER. Normally, I'd find some excuse NOT to go to Germany in May and find some little hole to duck into so that I wouldn't have to actually live my life. But knowing that it'll be with him and that I trust him more than all of my past boyfriends combined makes it exciting.

4. Oh yeah, I'm going to Germany in May. Period.

5. I want to be a photographer. I probably suck pretty hard core at it right now, but all great photographers had to start somewhere. I'm not going to pussyfoot around it with our photographers at the Villa anymore and while I respect what they do, I think I could do it, too.

6. I wore pink for the first time since the 3rd grade. I think I might do it again. I might even start wearing dresses.

Okay. That's all.

:)

35 Minutes of Nothing.

I've spent the last 35 minutes trying to write anything about this last week.

With only a few redeeming moments, I can easily say this week just sucked balls.

The end.

A New Big Picture

Thursday night is girls night here in the Denver Metro. Panda, Erica and I saddle up and plop ourselves down in front of each other with a beer in hand. It's a great way to head into Friday (especially when you have Fridays off because you work Saturdays...) and it's the best time to catch up about boys, school/work, and life adventures.

Finally catching them up on Mr. Man, they asked what his goal was for when he got older. Not really sure what the answer was, I kept thinking about it as I went home. I'm sure he has plans for where he wants to end up in the Air Force, but what really had the gears turning was the same thought:

Do I even know where I want to end up?

My job at the Villa is a great place for me right now. I can live at home, save some money up for whatever adventures God throws me (i.e. trips to Germany/Seattle) and a job that opens up a lot of doors. Not to mention how HUGELY spoiled I am with my amazing office with the perfect view that 50 year old execs would be jealous of.

But is that where I see myself in 2 years? 5? 10? Sad as it may be, I don't see myself in Parker for that long. So what else could I do? Where is this place/niche that God sees me in?

After a few days of soul searching and asking God to show me where he'd like me to go, it dawned on me. I have access to 11 of the greatest photographers in Colorado. God has given me plenty of events to shoot, professionals brains to pick, a beautiful venue, and a great camera.

I've hesitated quite a bit in admitting this because I SO respect the photographers I know and what they do. They have such a creative style and they are so unique compared to any other ho-hum "enthusiast" who picks up a camera and calls them self and photographer. Hopefully I can actually do something with a camera that they'll respect.

Lessons Learned in 2010

Things I've learned in 2010 so far:

1. Doctor's don't actually know much about knee pain.

2. Jewish weddings are a BLAST.

3. Seattle is a wonderful place filled with Starbucks and hipsters.

4. Wear socks while running.

Whoops.

A Double Whammy

I've spent a lot of time in my past year learning about a few main things:

1. The differences between men and women

2. What it means to be a woman of God

3. The differences between happiness and JOY.

In my blog posts about the differences between happiness and JOY, I guess I never really concluded that happiness was a pretty sweet deal, too.

A few nights ago, I felt like a giddy high school girl again after another great phone chat with the Mr. Man. Later on, I had to remind myself that it was happiness, not JOY. But as I laid in bed talking to myself, a nightly occurrence for crazy people like me, I found myself asking what was so bad about happiness, especially when it accompanies your JOY?

Of course, I still maintain the reasoning that JOY is the ultimate goal and that the only way to reach and keep JOY in your life is to have a consistent and meaningful relationship with God. I think JOY is something you work towards everyday, but happiness is situational. Happiness is something that happens to you.

But how blessed are those of us that don't just have JOY in every day life, especially during the trivial tasks of the day, but we have happiness as well?

That my friends is a double whammy. A pretty awesome one at that.

The Other Side

Right before Mr. Man left to go back to Alabama, I gave him a copy of Wild at Heart. Having read a few chapters of it earlier in college, I thought it might be a book he'd enjoy. Since it's the male counterpart to my favorite book, Captivating, I was hoping it might give him some insight into himself as Captivating did for me.

I purchased myself a copy as well and until now, I haven't really been very into it. I blame my indifference towards the book on my gender, but once I put aside my own feelings and determined to read it in an attempt to better understand this Mr. Man God has put in my life, it started getting a little bit easier.

Last night, I finally finished Chapter 5 and I laid in bed somewhat baffled...

Men are people, too??

Until now, men had just been this other necessary evil accompanying us ladies through life. Chapter five, titled The Battle for a Man's Heart, kept mentioning this question men have about being good enough, being strong enough, and where does strength come from and how a man finds his strength.

That's all fine and dandy, but I still haven't gotten past the whole concept that men have these questions and these rite of passage moments. Clearly, I've been stuck in lady-land and so wrapped up in what it means to be a woman that I didn't realize that there was an equal struggle for men to become men.

Men have become somewhat more real to me in the last day, as if the veil has been drawn and there's an actual human being looking back at me.

Weird.

Little moments of their lives

Friday night, we had an event with the Ponderosa High School girl's basketball team. I was less than thrilled that it was Ponderosa, but I cracked a couple jokes while in the planning process and went along with it.

The event went mostly well and at times I was reminded that I am in fact a servant where I work. Not seen OR heard, under appreciated when I do a perfect job and scolded when one thing goes wrong. There's really nothing wrong with that until the point of contact at the event snaps her fingers at you or grabs you by the elbow to pull you away to focus on her problems.

But even being reminded that I'm a servant, there was a really special moment at their event. I was sitting by the AV equipment running their slideshows and as I sat there listening to the coach speak about the senior girls going off to college and cracking jokes about kids that go to Chaparral (where I went to school), there was a very warm moment where I realized what a special event they were sharing with us.

It's a pretty big gift that we at the Villa get to be a part of some of the greatest events in people's lives. Weddings, senior banquets, 80th birthday parties-- all windows into their lives and their celebrations and we get to be a part of it.

It was rather special...

...even if it was Ponderosa HS.

One Day at a Time

"We're just trying to take it one day at a time."

When I heard people say that, I always thought "Well DUH! How else are you supposed to live? A week at a time??" But it happened. I said it. I had to remind myself to live "one day at a time."

It started getting really easy to just focus on July, September and maybe October for the big events, but it wasn't easy at all. It actually really sucked knowing that these amazing events are still 100 days+ away but I wanted to live months at a time and get them over quicker.

So, in attempt to not pout and still be enjoyable to be around for the next (127-ish) days, we'll just take it one day at a time and thank God for the great things that happen on the day-to-day. Time flies when you're having fun, right?

One Blessed Little Lady

I get nervous about talking about some topics too much because I don't really want to bore people or make them think that I have nothing better to talk about. While I have great stories from work and from adventures, I realize that I talk about my relationship with God and how blessed I am, A LOT.

BUT this is my blog and I'll talk about whatever I want! Deal with it! :)

I had never had a long term relationship with any guy until Trevor. So, when it ended, I admittedly fell apart. I cried so much my poor mom at one point pretty much had to tell me to put a cork in it. (She did it in a much more loving way than that however...). Taking someone out of my life like that was something that I've never really had to experience before. I've had a family member or two die in my lifetime, but none that I was ever really close with and was really affected by.

When that relationship was over, it felt like the only person who had "loved" me had left my life, but God used a lot of things to show me just how blessed I am and how much he loves me. As soon as I understood more about how much God loved me, I started getting a realization of how much my parents love me, and how important I was to other people.

It's the honest truth that I've learned to find my value first by how much God loves me and then also my family and good friends. I think coming to terms with the love I'm constantly surrounded by has (hopefully?) made me a better Christian, daughter, friend, sister, etc. and I can definitely see that even when life isn't perfect, I am still one incredibly blessed little lady.

After T and I broke up, my dad mentioned what kind of guy he'd like to see me with and what he expects from out of "the one" and at first, I didn't quite get it. But overtime and learning more about how blessed I am, I understand the HUGE difference between the right guy and the guys I've been dating.

I'm think my parents would be happy to know that I think I'm at least on the right track. I think they're secretly very curious how my weekend went, so maybe this will help appease that :D

Your (not so) classic "Boy meets girl"

Here's a pretty typical first day in my little realm: Boy meets girl, boy asks girl out, boy picks girl up, boy takes girl to restaurant for nice food, boy takes girl to movie, boy takes girl home, boy and girl hug and say goodnight, girl runs back to room to gush about boy to other girls. Then after some time, girl and boy meet each others parents, girl and boy spend a lot of time talking and learning about each other and then it goes from there. Yadda yadda yadda...

But since when do I do things the right way? There's nothing in my history of life that suggests that I necessarily do things "by the book."

So, here's how it actually happens: boy meets girl, after 4 years, boy asks girl for paintings that will exchange hands over dinner which girl thinks is secretly a ploy for boy to get girl, girl awkwardly goes through dinner and pays for herself there for nullifying the "date", boy leaves for two months, boy and girl talk and learn more about each other, boy flies across the United States to meet girl, girl picks boy up from airport, girl meets boy's parents and plays Taboo for three hours, girl and boy have dinner with boy's parents, boy takes girl out on a first date to a movie.

(And then girl went home to gush about boy to other girls.)

I am dyslexic-- sometimes I get things a little backwards ;)

7 months later...

I guess it was time that I actually finish unpacking my car... Part of me was hoping within a few months of moving back home that I would have found an amazing, high paying job in Seattle or Boston or something and I wouldn't have to actually unpack, but after 7 months, I guess it's okay to go ahead and unpack.

Tonight I actually cleaned my car. We're talkin' windex, armor all, vacuum cleaners and a big ol' trash bin... the works!

For those of you who have been a passenger in it recently, you know that it really wasn't going to be an easy accomplishment and I'm sorry for an viruses you contracted from the ride. However, I finally busted out the vacuum cleaner and went to town on it. It's so bizarre that it takes absolute filth in my car to spur my willingness to clean it, but if there's even ONE piece of paper in my office out of place, it drives be bonkers!! We'll go ahead and call it selective OCD...

Maybe I should take a picture so people know that it's actually possible for my car to be clean...

Stressed and Blessed

In my last year or so of my walk with God, I've learned a lot of really great lessons. One of the most useful things I've learned is discretion. Proverbs 2:11 "Discretion will protect you and understanding will guard you."

I can say some of the best decisions I've ever made were to simply shut my trap and listen. Except now, I work for a married couple. And there's only three of us. Sometimes I feel a big urge to speak up about certain issues, but again, I'm just going to go ahead and shut up. I really would appreciate if God would show me the moments when I'm supposed to speak up and the moments when I should shut the yapper.

So while this brings some stress into my life, I really can't complain because there are so many other great areas that God uses to continually bless me. I am SO excited that some photographers have taken me under their wing and want to help me develop something I enjoy. Ms. Cassie Rosch and I will even get an opportunity to shoot a wedding together in September!! She's already done a lot to teach me what she knows about photography and I can't tell you the joy it brings me to know that we have a hobby that we can learn about and grow together in. Even if she's already a few steps ahead of me.

My family continues to be my biggest support and some days I can think of nothing better than sitting on the couch and making fun of the people on American Idol. "A little pitchy, dawg!" They put up with my venting after long days at the Villa, which I know isn't always easy. They can always get even by teasing me about texting Mr. Man while we hang out. (72 hours in case you lost count until his visit.)

I was even lucky enough to be the one who got to call our Marry the Military couple. I have never experience a phone call with so much humility and gratitude and I feel so honored that we get to serve them and I absolutely can't wait to meet them!!

Something Vague

Well, I'm officially excited for this weekend. Partially to go back to Fort Collins and partially to see some people I haven't seen in a very long time. In 122 hours (yes, I'm counting the hours now... don't judge) a lot of questions will be answered.

This Mr. Man that God has put into my life is more than what I expected already, but I can't help but wonder if the chats on the phone and the texting is really as good as it gets or does it carry over into being face to face? Knowing that I'll get to spend a day with him this weekend is exciting, but I'm nervous at the same time. I know God puts the right people in our lives at the right time so I'm happy that I serve a graceful God who will take care of me throughout Mr. Man's visit.

This week is going to go by so slowly, isn't it?

WTF is Dreamweaver?

Here's the situation with Villa Parker's website. It's currently on website number 2 and it's still nothing but trouble and headache. We can't update it, we can't change the pictures, and we wouldn't even know where to start if we could. For a wedding website, there are some nice features to it, but over all, it's jut not functional.

Pretty much what this means is that Molly gets to learn how to and then subsequently gets to build a website.

Initially the whole process was kind of a "WTF?!" moment, but as I sit here with a 30-day free trial of Dreamweaver, it's kind of nice to have a project to work on. Since I'm not going to grad school, I really find myself missing homework and being able to sit in Starbucks at night and work away. And I keep thinking about how amazing it will feel to have website designing/building on my list of achievements. So, after my last tour today, I'll be scooting my butt over to a bookstore to find a book hopefully titled "WTF is Dreamweaver?!" or I guess I'd settle for "Dreamweaver for Dummies."

However, in this situation, I think "Dummies" is a VAST understatement...

See@hull

So my Seattle trip. Where to start.

Well it actually didn't start off very well at all. I found out Friday that I didn't get into Grad school and then I was up all night excited to leave for a vacay, sad because I didn't get into school, and happy for other reasons. So waking up at 5AM after 3 hours of sleep, was not exactly ideal.

It apparently wasn't very smart either. Out of my delirious exhaustion, I made a mistake. Now, I'm not sure why we women will never learn this lesson and I'm sure ALL women will agree, that when a curling iron drops, it is pure instinct to catch it. Even though time after time, we catch it and burn ourselves and think "Well I've learned MY lesson! Won't do THAT again!" BUT WE STILL CATCH IT! (My awesome scar is in the

picture on the left.)

The flight was pretty standard and it was great to learn more about Cassie and my Uncle Mark. I had excellent chats with both of them throughout the trip. I was SUPER nervous at first

because after 3 hours of sleep, a couple hours on a plane and my arm in throbbing pain, I couldn't really fight or flight. I just kinda sat there. Overwhelmed.

After some sleep, life was good again and Cassie took me all around showing me some non-touristy areas and we found a lot of fun stuff to do. A very low-key awesome Valentine's Day! (Those words have never gone together in my life before, so that's pretty cool.) We crashed a wedding on V-day as well, posing to be the photographers for the event. Which went over a lot better than I thought when the actual photographers caught us.

I don't really know if Seattle's the place for me, but the great news is that I don't need to know anything! God's got this all under control!

Back At 'Em

Well, I'm back from my mini-vacay and I'm very happy to be back in Colorado, particularly in my own bed. It was an amazing trip and God let me use the time there to learn more about two amazing people in my life. I have a new-found respect for my Uncle Mark and a blossoming love for one Cassandra Rosch. These two people drove me all around Seattle and I can't tell them how much I appreciate their hospitality!!

I have a lot of thoughts to process from the trip, but there's no rest for the weary. I'm back to the Villa tomorrow and it promises to be a crazy day per usual. Seattle stories to come soon...

What now?

Well, I didn't get into Seattle University, I haven't heard a WORD from Oregon State University and I decided not to apply to Iowa. So it looks like I'll be at Villa Parker for who knows how long. This isn't exactly what I had been planning for, but when push comes to shove, I prayed that what God wanted to happen would happen and I have to trust that his is all a part of His master plan.

Speaking of things that weren't exactly what I had been planning for, I guess it's a fair enough time for me to admit that there is a Mr. Man.

So, back in December, before Christmas, I met with this guy to give him the paintings I had done for him. We had been in marching band together for a year and then he left to do Air Force ROTC. After a few years, he added me as a friend on facebook and we chatted a few times which made me assume he was only talking to me because he was drunk or lonely.

But it turns out he kinda likes me, even when sober, and again I'm left wondering "What now?" Because Mr. Man is stationed in Germany, I am clearly meant to be in Parker, CO and I don't see the paths overlapping anytime soon. This blog is already long enough and I could probably talk about him for days, so we'll leave it at this.

I'm happy with where my life is at now, but still, I can't help but wonder where this is all going...

Your move, God!

Changes, they are a comin'...

I realized today just how much a year can change absolutely everything in your life. I started thinking, trying to find ANY similarities between a year ago and today. While I still have a relationship with God and my family and friends, the dynamics of those relationships have changed drastically.

Literally, there isn't a single similarity between last year and today. I wasn't even BLONDE at this point last year! I was in school, moping over my recent-ish break-up, a work-aholic, with some miserable new friends and some standard old ones.

A mere 365 days later, I'm working in the wedding industry, balancing work and a social life, with a heart full of love for the most AMAZING people, two of which that don't even live in Colorado but we still find time to talk everyday. I get to spend a lot of quality time with my family, even if I rarely make it home in time for dinner with them. I'm back to being a blonde (and appreciating it far more than before) and I'm hopefully on track to be in Student Affairs.

I just thank God that he cares enough for us to bless us far beyond what we deserve. That in a short year, he can take us from the deepest pits of depression into a year of nothing but blessings.

I don't even have a PC anymore! I'm a MAC!!

Sheesh.

Porn for women...

I've decided that there a way too many similarities between porn for men and wedding blogs for women. For example, your partner doesn't want you to look at it, your partner would get freaked out if they caught you, and both give you ideas that are unattainable.

I found this with Amanda in Fort Collins and finally found the website (The books are called porn for women-- I don't suggest you just google away with that one...) they are HILARIOUS.

http://www.wannasnuggle.com/index/e-postcards/

Sorry- I just couldn't resist on this one. I promise there is NO actual porn.

An interesting night (to say the least)

So, imagine a night full of happiness, anger, laughter, sadness, confusion, frustration, and peace. Sounds a little bit tumultuous, right?

With three different conversations with two men and one boy, last night left me with a lot to think about. Two pieces to my night aren't really up for me to discuss because one shouldn't be broadcasted on my blog and the other I won't mention because he occasionally reads this, and I'd hate to make it that easy for him.

The third, however. The BOY I had to deal with was one from the past, I'll leave it to you to guess which one. After wrapping up my conversations with the men, I was head to pillow for a few minutes and was already wrapped up in my thoughts as it was. I quickly received a few text messages, and thinking they might be from Mr. Man, I excitedly grabbed my phone to read them. They were not from Mr. Man. They were from BOY. They were concerning my old blog and how it was making his friends thing that BOY and I had sex.

Let me make one thing clear for you, I completely believe in waiting until marriage. And if I were to lie about having sex with someone, it would NOT be this boy. It would probably be George Clooney or Michael Buble. You pickin' up what I'm throwin' down?

Shaking and crying and feeling all sorts of violated that my non-sex life continues to be a topic of conversation. I fired back some texts explaining that if his friends and family didn't take his word about our non-existent sexual relationship, than there was nothing taking down my blog was going to do about that. I mean seriously, this could be the third or fourth time this blog even mentions him and the blog before isn't accessible anymore. Instead of texting me late at night and harassing me, maybe there should be more owning up for not always being the most trustworthy person. Needless to say, I had even more to think about and proceeded to like awake until 5am.

I've spent the entire day NOT thinking about anything except for a stupid game my mom has gotten me addicted to. I just know there's all sorts of emotions all up in my head just waiting to be sorted out, but it was too much of a mess and I felt a little too vulnerable/tired today to deal with them.

On a separate note, my 5 hours of sleep last night was quite entertaining to my family tonight. There isn't really a difference between drunk-Molly and sleep-drived-Molly, so I'm glad I wasn't a bump on the log and at least made some folks laugh today. My family and friends were extremely helpful in giving perspective and making me feel supported and protected. It's situations like this that remind me just what I deserve and the type of boys to stay away from in the future.

Desire (Yeah, again.)

For those of you who followed my blog from before, it was mostly about pain and perseverance. It was definitely a rough part of life for more than one reason, but I look back feeling relieved to have made it out in one piece.

The last couple months have been going so well. I'm back in action in the gym, in church, at work and with great friends blossoming around me. I really couldn't have asked God for more, but apparently I did. I just feel like God has something more in store for me.

I really think God has more in store for my career. I love my job and the novelty of working in the wedding industry will never get old. It's a lot of fun to look at the different wedding blogs and to get to share the experience of others going through the planning process. But again, very little depth. I don't want a job where the goal is to just make money. I try my best to serve my employers, my clients and my vendors, but to what avail? I desperately want to serve others in a way that has a little bit more impact.

I got an email from the program head for the graduate program I applied to at Seattle U. She was just letting us know that we'd have an answer by February 16th. There was some finality to submitting the application and making it official, but now I sit here with the stark reality that in 13 days my life is going to go one of two directions. For the first time in these last amazing 3 1/2 months, I'm afraid and I'm even a bit teary eyed. I feel like I want to be in grad school so badly, that I'm just not sure how well I'll handle the rejection and I hope this is what God has planned for me.

I'm lucky to have a friend that reminded me that God has a plan for me and it may not be what I expect, but it'll be the best place for me. To be honest, this was the first time someone said what I was thinking rather than pushing me one way or another. I feel quite a bit better but I'm still going to go cry because I'm a girl and sometimes we just need a good cry, but once I wake up tomorrow (my day off!!!) I know He'll have it under control.

...Right?

They can't all be great, can they?

Today was so "blah." Other than a few bright spots and a few not-bright spots, it's all just averaged out to be quite nothing of a day.

Erika and I literally locked ourselves into the Villa today since Joe is gone. We had quite a few creepers make their way into the Villa last week and even though I have mace in my desk, it just seemed better to keep them out.

I submitted the last few pieces to my Seattle application. After talking over grad school (again) with my Dad before shooting clays yesterday, I'm even more convinced that I'll be moving to Seattle in August/September. It makes me sad to leave Villa Parker because I really think, given time, I could have really helped them get that place rocking and rolling. But I just need a little bit more depth.

There's less than 4 days until I stroll on into the Apple store for my new mac and only 11 days until I boogie on up to Seattle. I know 5 of those 11 days are going to be absolutely INSANE at work, but it'll help distract me and make time fly by before I go.

Erika and I got quite a bit of work done, but it bled over into my gym time, so I can already feel myself getting anxious to get in the gym and kick my butt. However, it'll have to wait. Tomorrow's my long day at work and something tells me it will in fact be long.

It's like people read this or something...

A couple things have hit me recently...

People actually read this blog. Weird.
People actually read what I write on the Villa's blog AND follow my advice. Double Weird.
It turns out, I don't suck at my job. This one isn't really as weird as it is just some what shocking to me...

On Friday, I get a paycheck and bonus that is enough to actually live on my own for a month. But given my circumstances, it's just going in the bank towards grad school. Well, actually, part of it is going to the Apple store for a new laptop!! Oh hello 15 inch Macbook pro...

After the new laptop day, I have one more week until I get a break for Seattle. It will be a super insane week full of meetings, events, and even a wedding! I'm sure it'll all be great, but tiring for sure. Which is all the more reason for me to leave on Saturday for a 4-day weekend in Seattle.

The Number's Don't Lie

WELL According to the company that provides people with credit cards for purchasing things at Apple, I'm approved for a purchase up to a whopping... ready for this? $240!!!!

(Please note my sarcasm.)

Now, based on their application and they questions they asked (how much do you make, do you own or rent, what do you do etc...) I understand why they didn't tack on the extra zero that I'd like, my outstanding salary (before commissions) is definitely nothing to write home about. But what this little card didn't take into a account is that A. I in fact live at home and don't pay rent and B. I've already saved up the money to pay off my new laptop and am just using their silly little credit card to build up some credit.

Now, I know this isn't anything to get worked up about, but I'm going to. It's my blog, deal with it. As that ADHD/dyslexic kid I already feel like I have to defend myself from being described as a number that doesn't adequately represent me. When did our world become a world that would rather describe someone in a series of random numbers, rather than actually looking to us as people.

With that being said, I'm done ranting.
:)

Never Again.

Not too long ago, I sat here trying to find inspiration for something to write on this ol' blog of mine. I remember thinking "I wish I had some good/interesting stories from work to write about!"

Well, I'll probably wait a while before thinking that again! Today was CRAZY at the Villa.

It started off hectic to begin with. Partially my own fault, but what can ya do? A tour I thought was next week, was apparently this morning at 9. I found out they were actually in town from Texas this week. I found out at 9:50. So it was ten o'clock and I had TWO tours waiting for my attention. One of them was a little angry. Justifiably.

So after 30 minutes of scooting them through a tour and apologizing, it was on to the next folks. Which, luckily for me, it was their second tour and they walked around and then we chatted for a few minutes and they were happy.

Thinking this was the end to my hectic day, little did I realize it was just starting. My 11 o'clock tour cancelled so I was sitting at my desk relaxing when one of our brides that just booked with us called. She called to tell me she was pregnant... and that she was asking if she could get the deposit back on her wedding. I told her I'd ask my boss what we could do and call her back. The answer was exactly what I thought it would be so I called her back to say we couldn't, but they're welcome to move their day up or back if she'd like. I quickly moved to my email to respond to a bride that had come in Friday to mistook the price I quoted her for another day. I sent her a quick note to correct the mistake and then went to do my noon tour.

Apparently Erika (my boss) had answered another phone call and when my tour was over, she told me it was the preggo bride's fiancee, pressing a little bit harder to get the deposit back. At this point, he said "I'm not trying to make this your problem" to which Erika told me she thought "UH YES. You are." We made a few jokes and talked about it. Mainly about why we can't just refund it and the repercussions of having pre-marital unprotected sex before marriage.

I left to get lunch on my hour off and laughed off the preggo bride situation (let's be honest, that's not a fun conversation to have. "Hey... yeah. Sorry! I can't give you a refund just because you decided not to use protection. Whoops!")

Anywho.

I came back to the Villa to a MESS. The preggo's bride fiancee had kept calling while Erika and I were out and has now EMAILED me the most ridiculous email I've ever received. Full of nothing but "That money is probably necessary to Villa Parker, but imagine how much it could do for a struggling couple raising a baby." Which, yeah, I get that. BUT the money Villa Parker gets? Goes to feed Erika and Joe's kids and Chris' kid. It helps three people who literally have poured their ENTIRE LIFE into this business and get by on pennies. Yeah, Sorry. No.

In addition to this, I've got the bride with the wrong price calling my office, my cell, emailing me, crying on the phone and harassing me because she had her heart set on doing her whole wedding for $5K. (Sorry, that doesn't even cover the site fee on the day she wanted!!)

At this point, I really thought that if my next three tours didn't ROCK, I was just going to run out of my office crying. (They did rock and I loved ALL OF THEM, so the day redeemed itself.)

But seriously?! Angry Texans, Pregnant Italians, and crying brides. Three things I never expected from today!!

Valentine's Day Suckage

Up until recently, I've never had a reason to enjoy Valentine's Day. Actually, I've had quite a few reasons to hate it. Put one part putting my cat to sleep, three parts death-flu, one part "dumped" and one part traffic court, add in a slice of... well my wrist actually (wrist surgery two days after the glorious V-day) shake it and you've got yourself a martini straight up. A martini of disaster.

Add on top of that the fact that I ABHOR the color pink (which stems from deep-rooted jealousy of Linsay Duty for always being the pink power ranger forcing me to always be the Asian power ranger. Even though it made more sense for me to be the pink ranger because Linsay was in fact Asian. Yes, I have issues.)

However, I said"Up until recently." You didn't catch that did you? Silly you. Pay attention.

The last two years haven't been that horrible. Imagine a night of girls drinking fruity adult beverages, imitating men, and some kissing we all would like to forget, and it wasn't that horrible. Well, at least for me. I was the only one with out a hangover the next day.

But THIS YEAR. This year, my friends, will be the year I'm actually looking forward to Valentine's Day. A 4-day weekend, a trip to Seattle, massages, chick flicks with contraband wine and cupcakes with an excellent friend- all a recipe for a delicious cocktail.

A delicious cocktail I can't wait to drink!
(Cheesy. I know.)

Practicality vs. Following your Heart

Back in the day, I went to a church with my family where the pastor was actually my good friends' dad. The sermon he was talking about was about being practical or following your heart. AKA doing something because it "felt" right.

He mentioned the show The Bachelor and how the girls and guys on it just do things because "it felt right" or because their "heart told them to." Which to some degree, following your heart is great and especially when God is captain of that ship. However, when you only use your heart and you don't engage the brain, you wind up with your heart broken looking back wondering why you were such an idiot.

With my present situation, I find myself relying wholly on practicality. Which I'm shocked and pleasantly surprised about. Maybe it's a sign of old age and that I've actually learned something in my last 23 years or I just lucked out this time, but either way, I think it's the best way to do this. I'm leaving grad school up to God, leaving friends and the "other" department up to him, and praying with discernment about doing God's will.

But weirdly, being practical just "feels right."
Who knows.

A message I couldn't ignore...

I absolutely love my new church. It's younger people, which has it's downfalls, but it's nice to be surrounded by people closer to my age than people closer to retirement like the churches in Parker. Aside from being a very attractive church in an absolutely beautiful building, the pastor has convicting and relevant messages.

Today's message was one that I couldn't ignore. This take a bit of swallowing some pride, but I think it's necessary for me. It started off in Ephesians, talking about the unity of the church with an emphasis on Eph. 4:3 "Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." In order for a church to be effective, everyone in the church needs to bond together under one message or one goal and act on it. Just like the holy trinity, there are three distinct pieces that make it up. Three pieces to make one. Man and woman are distinct, but they unite to be the most effective. So just like this, a church is made up of very diverse people, but they must unite to be one.

This was all fine and dandy, but then it hit me. We're all diverse and different and when you "marry" the church, it's not all fun and games. Sometimes you just have to put up with people. And the point he made about getting along with other people is where we falter is when we recognize our strengths and other peoples' weaknesses. By not recognizing my own faults, I'm not being humble and by not recognizing other peoples' strengths, I'm not using my strength as a woman to encourage and love others.

(On a lighter note, my friend who admittedly might have still been a tiny bit drunk was sitting next to me. While I made light of her situation, it was nice to have someone to admit to how much I need to work on what his message talked about.)

I never really considered myself a negative person (because I'm perfect, let's be honest... JUST KIDDING!), but I do make it a habit to think about other peoples' non-strengths and highlighting what I'm good at. I don't think I do it just to make myself look good, but when I thought about it, I think it's just easier to think about the bad things about people rather than the good. So, I've made it a goal to write a list of people that I tend to think poorly of and remind myself of all the great things about these people.

(I believe I even wrote "Molly: Epic Failure" next to this point he made. So- here's to being more positive about people!)

Lovely, lovely people

I've been blessed recently to be surrounded by great people. Family, friends, tours, etc... They'll been great! Today's tours are a perfect example of the blessings God has given me.

My first tour today was a couple that I met at the bridal show we did on the 10th. They were nice enough, but for the first half of the tour, her dad was a statue. He didn't really talk and his first comment was "Let's get this moving, I have a stock show to get to." So, I was a little hesitant to get too involved with him but I still wanted to appeal to him.

So as we sat down in my office to chat, I asked them about certain aspects of their wedding and asked about DJ. The bride said "My dad will be the DJ." They all chuckled and I started being my sarcastic self and saying "Yeah I could see that [insert DJ scratching motion here] 'wikka, wikka!'" We all had a hardy laugh and started making jokes and finally his daughter said "Dad can do the splits." And immediately I said if he could do the splits, I'd give them a discount. Then my "Single Ladies" requirement came up and we all laughed and laughed. Before they left they paid me some huge compliments which was nothing new, but I'm learning stuff about myself. (A post for another time.)

Awesome.

My second appointment was a couple and her parents coming in to sign a contract. The groom is a firefighter and I already knew I enjoyed them. She is more beautiful than my barbies, he's a buff firefighter and her parents are wonderful. We were having fun and chatting and her parents start to fill out the contract. While they were doing that, the firefighter asks me if we'd like stickers for junior firefighters. I told him I'd love one. I'm still wearing it.

And I was wearing it during my third appointment for the day. They laughed at it which was sadly the highlight of the tour. The couple is cute, her mom and sister were nice, but her Aunt seemed to try to dominate the entire tour. Which, fine. You have a lot of questions and I'm happy to answer them. BUT I like to maintain the flow of a tour and not let the clients control me. Still lovely people!

Add in talking with great friends here and there and I'm surrounded by amazing people. Which after a summer of crappy friends and healing for the last year and a half from a bad(ish) relationship and I just thank God for this period of time full of great people!

Of better friends than before...

I find myself an in interesting situation. For now, we'll leave that for another post but at this moment, it's made me appreciate the honesty my friends have towards me.

A friend currently is doing something I don't exactly think is smart or appropriate. I thought this friend considered me the type of friend who would call her out when she's doing something horrible. But once I had talked to her, I soon found out, she didn't want that type of friendship. She wanted someone to just pretend like everything was happy go lucky, sweep the crap under the rug, and move on.

I thought about it and that's not the type of friendships I want. I want my friends to be honest with me and call me out when I'm being stupid. Because in the long run, people who aren't giving me tough love, aren't people I'd really want to rely on.

It was lovely chatting with Britt-Marie about my other situation that we won't go into just yet. I appreciate her views and I'm glad that she had someway to relate to my issue. I also look forward to hearing from Ms. Cassie Rosch as to what she has to say! Soon we can chat about it over a nice beverage in Seattle!!

"Cause you gotta have faith..."

So I find myself at a crossroad... One path continues on with Villa Parker. I love my amazing job, I love who I work for, and I feel like I'm actually being a servant. Which is ultimately the goal.

But the other route goes towards grad school which seems to have a little bit more length and depth to it. Being in the Student Affairs program and ultimately working in it after school would still allow me to serve others, work in programming etc...

Luckily for me, I don't have to decide which route. Which I shouldn't be tense about because I don't have to worry about it, but in case you haven't learned anything about me from reading this blog, I'm worried about it. But that's what faith is for, right? I've at least asked for him to not let me in to grad school if I'm not supposed to go. If I'm supposed to go, he'll get me in. He'll pave the way.

So here's to leaving things up to God, not giving in to the stress other people are trying to put on me, and doing what God wants me to do!

Of the incorrect insoles

So, I think I've figured out what happened... In January of 2009, I finally went to see a doctor about knee pain. I started physical therapy for iliotibial band syndrome, which would be big fancy word for my muscles in my legs are tense. Go figure. Molly's tense.

So from there, they put me in these insoles called "Super feet." I'd like to call them something more like "Cause-more-pain-than-you're-already-insoles." And this explains the roller-coaster my knees/feet have been on for the past year. These insoles were actually too much support and were pushing things out of alignment. Too much of a good thing is bad, remember?

The mechanics of insoles and sneakers that cause support break down over their usage. So after about 6 months, the support is actually bust. I got new shoes and new insoles in January. I was still in pain until June. Then I got back into working out and was splendid! Still bits of knee pain, but it all could be contributed to ITBand stuff. Then, in August when I came back home, I got the bright idea to get new insoles. Stupid me. Hence the knee pain starting back up.

Now a solid four months later, in a fit to be a smartass versus the doctors that told me there was nothing wrong with my knees, I wore some nice shoes that had no insoles because "If there's nothing wrong with me, these shoes should be fine!" Having limbered up my IT Band quite nicely, I went through the day in fancy shoes. Pain Free.

I've been back in the gym for a good week now and have taken those ridiculous insoles out of my shoes and gone back to the originals. Life is good, my friends! Life is good.

Happiness and Joy

There's a really big difference between happiness and joy. I comment on it a lot, but every now and then I get a lovely reminder of the difference.

For example. Today? I wasn't happy. Tour after tour came in with out making an appointment and it made a disaster of the rest of the work I had to do. I maybe accomplished one thing today because of the 5 tours I ended up having (and there were two actually scheduled.)

I wasn't happy, but when the day is over, I still have plenty of joy and that's what helps me salvage the bad days.

I guess a glass of my new favorite wine doesn't hurt... or the whole bottle :)

Think about it...

Okay, this whole "put the color of your bra for breast cancer awareness" thing sparked a pretty huge fight in me. Let's think about this one, folks. Put the color of your bra in your status and only that to support breast cancer awareness.

1. Awarness = people need to know; how are people supposed to relate a random color with breast cancer?? Aside from asking, how are people going to figure that one out?? Pointless.
2. How does that help breast cancer? Awareness means people need to know facts about it and how to prevent it, detect it, etc. Maybe if someone was donating money to the Susan G. Komen fund for the cure for every status that was a color, but even then, it's impossible to track, so again- Pointless.
3. It's SICK how careless some people seem to be about it right now. It's like it's the "cool" thing to do and people are only supporting breast cancer because OTHER people are doing it. So supporting breast cancer is a fad now. A trend. I think I'd rather have fewer people supporting awareness and actually GIVE A CRAP about it, rather than everyone to hop on the band wagon about it.

Sick, people. Just sick.

Look tasty, huh? These were cupcakes from the tasting event we had at Villa Parker on the 5th. It was a lot of fun to hang out with brides and members of their family.

This is my year of growth, right? I'm excited to get my personality back and to be ME again. But days like today are the days I have to remember that JOY comes from a lasting relationship with the Lord and happiness is purely circumstantial.

I've been on quite the streak of happiness and I knew it was doomed to take a dip somewhere. Today was just a little bit more frustrating than i wanted that dip to be. I have to be honest, I've never worked in such a small environment before. I'm still trying to figure out how I fit in with this Villa Parker thing.

We're all allowed to be frustrated at somepoint, right?

Yep.

Of amazing views and low anxiety

I watch Mythbusters. A lot. And I remember thinking once how awesome it is that every now and then Adam stops and says "This is the point in the experiment that I stop and thinking 'WTF are we doing?!'"

I admired how they loved their job. And being severely unemployed at the time, I dreamt about the day that I'd have a job that would make me pause and appreciate the love I have for my life.

Well today's the day my friends!! As I sat in my office pausing to think about how awesome it'll be this spring/summer to sit at my desk with a gentle breeze flowing in from the opened french doors leading into my office with the lively gardens swaying just outside my reach as I planned event, I realized something. I have THE best job ever. As my parents put it, I'm so uniquely qualified for this job, it's as if someone (coughcoughGODcough) put the perfect situation together for me. He does good work!!

As I sit here super thankful and super swamped in booking season correspondence, I find all my feelings of restlessness and anxiety just melt away. Having a bag of employer-purchased Dove peanut butter chocolates to munch on doesn't hurt either ;)

The ol' noggin...

Two weeks without knee pain? Including two days of standing for 15 hours each day, days in heels, days in crappy shoes...?? What's going on here, folks? What's the difference between now and before?

The phenomenon can only be explained by realizing the power of one incredible feature we humans have: our brain.

Now, I don't doubt that for some time, there was something seriously wrong with my knee. I know I have a powerful mind, but the nights I spent crying due to knee pain weren't just my imagination. But possibly, the last few months could all be a part of my overall feelings of inadequacy. Being unemployed, almost finished with school, and a myriad of other social problems, maybe it just seemed fitting at the time to think that absolutely everything was wrong.

Regardless of what my ridiculous brain cooked up, I'm thrilled to be rid of my knee pain! I'm excited to get back into the gym to help gain a little bit more focus during my days and to get back to living my life!

Let's Get Cheesy

When folks come into the Villa for a tour, I make it a point to mention that three years ago, we planted the gardens on the West side of the property. I also explain that the third year for plants is the big growth year. The first year, they're settling into the ground, the second year, they grow their roots and the third year, they become plush and full of life.

Doing some New Years Eve reflecting while sitting in my office at work consoling my aching soles from the wedding that was going on, I realized that I was kinda similar to the plants I point out every day. At the end of 2008, I had just ended my first long-term relationship and as a single person and Christian, I was settling into my surroundings. In 2009, I grew immensely as a Christian and now in 2010, I get to grow.

I have a lot to be thankful for and I'm excited to see what 2010 has in store! (On a side note, someone pointed out how old they'd be at the next decade's end-- I'll be 33! HOLY CRAP!)