Chip on my shoulder

Oh the joys that Musical Theatre can teach us ;) From Legally Blonde:

ELLE
This chip on my shoulder
Makes me smarter and bolder
No more whining or blaming
I am reclaiming my pride

I don't really want to go through life with a chip on my shoulder, but I think I'm all about "reclaiming my pride" and "no more whining and blaming."

I'm happy to be vulnerable to the men that deserve it, but for now (singing) I've got a chip on my shoulder, it's the size of a boulder...

A Novice

I'm seriously LOVING photography. It makes me happy and I've seriously had to resist taking my camera to bed with me. (When I was younger my mom got me snow boots for Christmas one year. I loved them SOO much, I slept with them on. So when I say I almost slept with them, it doesn't mean in the sexual way, it means in the "I don't want to spend a minute with out them" sort of way.)

I realized that this is so exciting because I know a lot of people who are photo-fluent. They speak the language, they know what it means and how it relates to pictures. Me, on the other hand, I'm a novice! I know so little about this and it's so exciting to be able to learn from others.

Too many times in my life I've had to prove that I'm not in fact an idiot (like today at the doctors- another story for another time.) So I've had to thrive and strive to prove myself which is super not what I'm about as a woman, but it happens. In turn, photography has allowed me to enjoy my photo-ignorance and to embrace not being good at something.

::sigh:: I love photography.

Mmm Photos

I love my new camera.
Period.

Beware: I have shutter speed...

I LOVE photography. Scratch that.
I LOVE good photography.

One of my favorite parts of my job at the Villa is the amount of amazing pictures I get to look at. As a graduation present, I was given my first legit camera. A Canon Rebel EOS with an 18-55 mm 1:3.5-5.6 IS lens and SOMEDAY I'll learn what those numbers mean and how it relates to my pictures. I know the 18-55 mm is the amount of space between the lens and the sensor and it determines how much zoom your camera has. Needless to say, I don't have much zoom comparing my 18mm to oh say... 300?

Yeah.

But I'm stoked! Already I'm loving this camera/lens and having a pretty legit hobby. It also gives me some excellent questions to talk over with our preferred partners at the Villa in photography. But be warned, I made 27 albums on facebook in one year with my Sony Cybershot. And now that I have a camera I'm tempted to wear to bed, I make no promises that you won't get sick of reading "Molly Joy has uploaded ___ new photos" on facebook!

A random assortment of things

I get to walk in graduation! It really doesn't feel like I finished school. It was sort of just like I stopped going to classes. Which wasn't too far from when I was actually in school, but let's not go there. I feel a little sheepish because I already made my grand exit with my friends, but again, without the ceremony and the cap and gown, it just still doesn't feel right.

Speaking of other things that don't feel right, I'm done with Dr. McDonough. Or as I'm referring to him as, Dr. McDunno. I sat in his office in pain and I got "Well there's nothing wrong with you." as I sat there with pain. However, an hour and a half after the appointment and some quality time with wikipedia, I think I've figured out what is wrong. I should be a doctor ;) He referred me to a doctor who might actually give a s**t about me and might actually do something.

Finished school: Check
Job: Check
Church: Check
Future Bible Study: Check
Knee: On our way
A Man: Well... let's not get carried away!

On a side note, I'm SUPER stoked about Christmas! This is the first time in my life that I've had a big-girl paycheck and I am finally able to pay for the presents I want to get people without going into debt.

Life is good.

BAH

Stupid KNEE!!

You knew this blog post was coming. I even said it was in the last post, so don't blame me.

I am SO frustrated with my knee, the physical therapists and the knee surgeon. I'm sick of wearing my special shoes and they are quickly becoming less and less special to me. I don't have any where to wear them to, but every now and then, a girl needs to wear heals!!

My physical therapist has been half-assing it until tomorrow, when he and I are going to have a serious conversation about WTF is up with my knee. I've experienced MORE pain since starting PT than I have since I quit working out in September.

Keep in mind that I have TWO weddings to work at the end of December, both requiring me to work from 8AM to 1AM. Work meaning cleaning, running around, doing everything for brides, meaning a LOT of standing, walking, and running.

Fer-us-ter-ate-ted.

We live today for hope of tomorrow...

I went to church yesterday! And it was GOOD! Aside from the somewhat miserable worship band and the distracting amount of good looking people, there was a message. It was clear, I understood it, and it made me think. Which, isn't that what sermons are meant to do?

The message I got from the sermon was sensible in thinking that Christianity isn't here to denounce what is Earthly, but to use them in a healthy way in our wait for the future. We are meant to enjoy what good things God has given us (friendship, good food and drink) but to not become obsessed with them.

Here's the gist of it:
For those of us who are not beautiful, don't become obsessed with being beautiful, but be content because at some point you will be a beautiful angel.
For those of us who are not rich, don't become obsessed with working because in Heaven we'll have all the riches we could ever want.
Etc...

It was a great message and I felt comfortable with the people I was surrounded by. No doubt they all have their flaws just as I do, but I felt welcome and like I kinda belonged there! Weird...

Job: Check
Church: Check
Knee: Well... that's another blog for another day...

One step at a time...

Well, I've got a job. A fantastic one at that! God has blessed me with understanding and amazing supervisors. A job that uses my talents, is challenging and I'm excited to go to daily. One step is out of the way and we're on to tackling the knee situation.

I must say I unloaded on my physical therapist a bit during our first appointment. I think those around me would agree in that I feel stuck. I want to work out more than I think I could explain. Working long hours is best assuaged by running every frustration and any left over energy out subdues my ADHD into submission quite nicely.

He's a nice man, however, I could manage without his affinity for slapping my butt. While I inherently feel a sense of trust with this man, I think it's a little early for "good game"-ing. He does know that I'm at my last wits with my knee pain. My family can attest to my frustration with the knee surgeon that didn't think my two years of knee pain, even post physical therapy, deserved surgery. I know it's not a quick fix, but at least then we'd know for sure what was wrong and would be on a path to fixing it.

I sit here writing this with a sore bum from the PT exercises. Apparently my knee pain stems from a weak butt and hips. Add on that my knee is in the wrong spot because one quad muscle won't activate and we seem to know what the problem is.

Job: check.
Knee: in process
Next up? A social life.