Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Figuring things out...

So, after (what seemed like) a long visit to Fort Collins to figure out some issues with my thesis/degree, I enjoyed a nice drive home listening to my favorite pastor- Mark Driscoll.

Earlier that day I had started reading a book called "If you want to walk on water, you've got to get out of the boat" which I thank Fletcher for suggesting it. Already into the first chapter I've realized that I live heavily out of fear. This wasn't a new realization, but what was new was WHY.

I love my parents deeply, but listening to Mark Driscoll talk about fear, I learned that I have been using my parents as an excuse. I've been using them to define me. I am constantly seeking their approval, I live in constant fear of their disapproval and that is in fact not loving them. "There is a big difference between a fool and a wise person is a fool fears man. A wise person fears God."

In my time at home, I've been trying to figure out what exactly it is that I want to be doing. It's hard to find a job you love when you don't know what that is. I'm happy to say that I think I'm at least on the right path. I love event planning, I love working IN education without actually being a teacher, and I love being in the University setting. So after some good thinking and trying to decide what uses the gifts God has given me and what I can do to glorify God, I'm going to pursue my master's in Student Affairs and Higher Ed. I know that if this is what God intends for me, he will make the rough paths smooth!

In the mean time I'm still pursuing jobs, still trying to get silly CSU to recognize that I've finished school, and still pursuing God. And I'm learning some awesome things in the process.

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