The Biggest Loser

I secretly love watching The Biggest Loser. Especially now that life seems to be taking a more humbling path than normal. I've found that lately my life has been a point of contention rather than a celebration.

But I noticed something cool while watching the contestants work out with Jillian and Bob. Even though the trainers are screaming and cussing in their faces, if you listen to what they're actually telling them, it's pretty inspiring.

These people keep yelling "I can't do it, I can't do it." And too many times now I've seen Jillian get in their faces and yell "Yes. You can." They don't put up with these peoples excuses and rehearsed stories as to why they are the way they are. They are the reason they are what they are. Seems redundant, but to me it says that your life is because of your attitude. (I hate it when my mother's right.)

So here's to a less whiney Molly. Might as well enjoy my time without a job/school while I can!

Perseverance

What a tricky little bugger perseverance is.

I love our Lord because he has been so steadfast with me. Last night I dreamt about getting back with Trevor. (Please keep in mind that I don't think dreams really represent what we really think.) I woke up and immediately started praying. Within a few minutes, God had given me relief and I knew that this was just one more day on the journey towards becoming mature and complete.

I'm thankful that God has helped me see more of my path and it's days like today that I'm eternally grateful for that. Having a dream like I had would be even more difficult if I didn't feel I had goals to work towards. But I'm able to wake up and move on and work to glorify God.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-5

In other news, my laptop is severely lacking in perseverance and is currently being consumed by a lovely virus. I've got two jobs up in the air and I'm hoping that one comes through because I walked into the Mac store yesterday. And it was good.

Figuring things out...

So, after (what seemed like) a long visit to Fort Collins to figure out some issues with my thesis/degree, I enjoyed a nice drive home listening to my favorite pastor- Mark Driscoll.

Earlier that day I had started reading a book called "If you want to walk on water, you've got to get out of the boat" which I thank Fletcher for suggesting it. Already into the first chapter I've realized that I live heavily out of fear. This wasn't a new realization, but what was new was WHY.

I love my parents deeply, but listening to Mark Driscoll talk about fear, I learned that I have been using my parents as an excuse. I've been using them to define me. I am constantly seeking their approval, I live in constant fear of their disapproval and that is in fact not loving them. "There is a big difference between a fool and a wise person is a fool fears man. A wise person fears God."

In my time at home, I've been trying to figure out what exactly it is that I want to be doing. It's hard to find a job you love when you don't know what that is. I'm happy to say that I think I'm at least on the right path. I love event planning, I love working IN education without actually being a teacher, and I love being in the University setting. So after some good thinking and trying to decide what uses the gifts God has given me and what I can do to glorify God, I'm going to pursue my master's in Student Affairs and Higher Ed. I know that if this is what God intends for me, he will make the rough paths smooth!

In the mean time I'm still pursuing jobs, still trying to get silly CSU to recognize that I've finished school, and still pursuing God. And I'm learning some awesome things in the process.

My Day with Dunder Mifflin

So yesterday was my "all day interview" with The Marketing Group. Let's make two notes about this last sentence: 1. I put all day interview in quotes because it wasn't much of an interview; more like a hostage situation. 2. The Marketing Group uses the word marketing quite loosely.

I was met by Mr. David Wilson who told me to come with him. He then whisked me away in his falling-apart Saab and we were off to Denver to meet some managers about their paper supply. At this point it was 9:10am and already thoughts of Dunder Mifflin had entered my mind and wondered which quirky salesperson I was going to spend my day with. It turns out, even a day with Dwight K. Schrute would have been more interesting than Mr. David Wilson.

He quickly changed his mind and decided we would go to Colorado Springs first and instructs me to take out something to write on because he will be quizzing me through out the day. I slightly panicked only because I'd be stuck in a car with a strange man for a little over an hour and thoughts of being abandoned in Colorado Springs and being forced to walk back to Denver in order to lose weight so the entire office could get five additional vacation days had begun to enter my mind. (Yes, more Office references.)

After a day in Colorado Springs (not just the morning like David kept assuring me it would be) we came back to Denver in a very silent car. "Why," you ask? Well, during our afternoon, we had been, in David's words, "Introducing ourselves" to local office managers in large buildings. However one receptionist believed we were in fact soliciting (which he was) and David gave her a little back talk. She threatened to call security if we didn't leave. I believe I even saw her pick up the phone when she saw us go "introduce ourselves" to the office next to them.

So after a horrible day, I was then asked to fill out another stupid survey before my last stupid interview. (Seriously. I don't think these people understand what happens in real interviews.) This is where Josh was going to interview me. Let me paint you a picture of Josh- think of that guy in the fraternity who's overweight, outdrinks every body and is most likely to kick a puppy and high five everyone after he does it. He spends some time bragging about himself (which his list of accomplishments isn't even comparable to the list of things I had completed in the day prior... yay laundry) and then asks me what my weaknesses are. I gave him some good ones that I thought would deter him from actually hiring me and at the time thought they worked.

The frat king sent me on my way and I spent the entire walk to the car quietly cursing how I had spent my day. I came home to a delicious sunshine wheat and amazing dinner from my mom (what a blessed woman she is and the only highlight to a horribe day!) At seven o'clock I got a call offering me a position with them and tipsy/slightly drunk Molly said she needed time to think about it, realizing that would be a phone conversation for calm and collected (and sober) Molly.

This day helped me realize some good things about what I want to do so it wasn't a 100% loss, but this blog is already quite lengthy and we'll leave those revelations for another day.

Something worth doing

Everyday, I go to careerbuilder.com and try to find some job to devote my time to. I've even tried applying to a cosmetology school and Rocky Mountain College of Art and Design. After receiving a small scholarship before I was even accepted to RMCAD, I have to admit one nagging thought:

How does any of this glorify God and the gifts he has given me?

Yeah, I could go back to school and be a licensed Interior Designer, I could work in event planning, and I could be someone's assistant (actually, I can't- turns out I'm over and under qualified at the same time.) but how is me working for a Fortune 500 company going to help me live a life that is worthy of Jesus dying for it?

Other people I get- I am happy to say that I find more inspiration to praise God after listening to my friend, Fletcher's music or looking at his art, I see friends that are using the workplace to show God's profound impact on their lives, and I even have friends enduring slight misery with the program Teach for America.

So in case I didn't have enough standards for my future, I've added another one that MUST be met: It must be worth doing.