Beware: I have shutter speed...

I LOVE photography. Scratch that.
I LOVE good photography.

One of my favorite parts of my job at the Villa is the amount of amazing pictures I get to look at. As a graduation present, I was given my first legit camera. A Canon Rebel EOS with an 18-55 mm 1:3.5-5.6 IS lens and SOMEDAY I'll learn what those numbers mean and how it relates to my pictures. I know the 18-55 mm is the amount of space between the lens and the sensor and it determines how much zoom your camera has. Needless to say, I don't have much zoom comparing my 18mm to oh say... 300?

Yeah.

But I'm stoked! Already I'm loving this camera/lens and having a pretty legit hobby. It also gives me some excellent questions to talk over with our preferred partners at the Villa in photography. But be warned, I made 27 albums on facebook in one year with my Sony Cybershot. And now that I have a camera I'm tempted to wear to bed, I make no promises that you won't get sick of reading "Molly Joy has uploaded ___ new photos" on facebook!

A random assortment of things

I get to walk in graduation! It really doesn't feel like I finished school. It was sort of just like I stopped going to classes. Which wasn't too far from when I was actually in school, but let's not go there. I feel a little sheepish because I already made my grand exit with my friends, but again, without the ceremony and the cap and gown, it just still doesn't feel right.

Speaking of other things that don't feel right, I'm done with Dr. McDonough. Or as I'm referring to him as, Dr. McDunno. I sat in his office in pain and I got "Well there's nothing wrong with you." as I sat there with pain. However, an hour and a half after the appointment and some quality time with wikipedia, I think I've figured out what is wrong. I should be a doctor ;) He referred me to a doctor who might actually give a s**t about me and might actually do something.

Finished school: Check
Job: Check
Church: Check
Future Bible Study: Check
Knee: On our way
A Man: Well... let's not get carried away!

On a side note, I'm SUPER stoked about Christmas! This is the first time in my life that I've had a big-girl paycheck and I am finally able to pay for the presents I want to get people without going into debt.

Life is good.

BAH

Stupid KNEE!!

You knew this blog post was coming. I even said it was in the last post, so don't blame me.

I am SO frustrated with my knee, the physical therapists and the knee surgeon. I'm sick of wearing my special shoes and they are quickly becoming less and less special to me. I don't have any where to wear them to, but every now and then, a girl needs to wear heals!!

My physical therapist has been half-assing it until tomorrow, when he and I are going to have a serious conversation about WTF is up with my knee. I've experienced MORE pain since starting PT than I have since I quit working out in September.

Keep in mind that I have TWO weddings to work at the end of December, both requiring me to work from 8AM to 1AM. Work meaning cleaning, running around, doing everything for brides, meaning a LOT of standing, walking, and running.

Fer-us-ter-ate-ted.

We live today for hope of tomorrow...

I went to church yesterday! And it was GOOD! Aside from the somewhat miserable worship band and the distracting amount of good looking people, there was a message. It was clear, I understood it, and it made me think. Which, isn't that what sermons are meant to do?

The message I got from the sermon was sensible in thinking that Christianity isn't here to denounce what is Earthly, but to use them in a healthy way in our wait for the future. We are meant to enjoy what good things God has given us (friendship, good food and drink) but to not become obsessed with them.

Here's the gist of it:
For those of us who are not beautiful, don't become obsessed with being beautiful, but be content because at some point you will be a beautiful angel.
For those of us who are not rich, don't become obsessed with working because in Heaven we'll have all the riches we could ever want.
Etc...

It was a great message and I felt comfortable with the people I was surrounded by. No doubt they all have their flaws just as I do, but I felt welcome and like I kinda belonged there! Weird...

Job: Check
Church: Check
Knee: Well... that's another blog for another day...

One step at a time...

Well, I've got a job. A fantastic one at that! God has blessed me with understanding and amazing supervisors. A job that uses my talents, is challenging and I'm excited to go to daily. One step is out of the way and we're on to tackling the knee situation.

I must say I unloaded on my physical therapist a bit during our first appointment. I think those around me would agree in that I feel stuck. I want to work out more than I think I could explain. Working long hours is best assuaged by running every frustration and any left over energy out subdues my ADHD into submission quite nicely.

He's a nice man, however, I could manage without his affinity for slapping my butt. While I inherently feel a sense of trust with this man, I think it's a little early for "good game"-ing. He does know that I'm at my last wits with my knee pain. My family can attest to my frustration with the knee surgeon that didn't think my two years of knee pain, even post physical therapy, deserved surgery. I know it's not a quick fix, but at least then we'd know for sure what was wrong and would be on a path to fixing it.

I sit here writing this with a sore bum from the PT exercises. Apparently my knee pain stems from a weak butt and hips. Add on that my knee is in the wrong spot because one quad muscle won't activate and we seem to know what the problem is.

Job: check.
Knee: in process
Next up? A social life.

TWIST

I've applied everywhere.

Out of ~250 applications, I've gotten 3 interviews.

Out of 3 interviews, I've gotten three jobs. One with a bogus "marketing" company in August, one with Red Robin, two days after getting hired at Villa Parker.

It's kinda weird being unemployed for that long. I wasn't losing faith in God, but I was somewhat losing faith in myself. I've always been an excellent interviewer. It's some weird gift that I don't get nervous or freaked out during them. In my life, I've applied for a lot of jobs and if I got an interview I 98% of the time, got the job. The only place not to hire me is Starbucks.

So applying all over the place and not getting hired, I was getting pretty frustrated. Even after Red Robin. I applied for a job that I sort of felt was beneath me but was do-able. They said they'd call by Friday and if I didn't hear from them, it meant they had gone with someone else. Well thank goodness they didn't call on time! My third day on the job at Villa Parker, Red Robin called to offer me a job.

My faith in myself has been restored. And after a knee doctor appointment with an MRI on the way (pending my insurance), working a fantastic job and being just days away from getting my final score on the GRE, life seems just a little bit better than 3 weeks ago. Still snowy, but better.

What am I? 70?

"Maybe if I just type out what I'm feeling, I'll stop thinking about it."

I'm getting so fed up with my knee. I can't run, I can't hike, I can't bike, I can't even do YOGA. Seriously, just going grocery shopping with my mom for an hour means staying up for a few hours because my knees hurt.

I relied on working out. It was my sanity-keeper. It helped in controlling my ADHD, it was a motivator, it let me get all of my frustrations out and it was time I took for myself. And now, I'm noticing my body changing because eating healthy really only goes so far. Seriously, WTF. Am I 70 years old? I'm experiencing some of the same problems my grandma is having! Seriously! I've already had carpal tunnel surgery (which she's had three times) and she's had knee surgery more times than I can count. I'm fricken' 23 years old and I should be able to run or go hiking!

I can't tell you how badly I was hoping the Doctor would be able to see me today. But alas I have to wait until Thursday. Monkey eff.