Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Desire (Yeah, again.)

For those of you who followed my blog from before, it was mostly about pain and perseverance. It was definitely a rough part of life for more than one reason, but I look back feeling relieved to have made it out in one piece.

The last couple months have been going so well. I'm back in action in the gym, in church, at work and with great friends blossoming around me. I really couldn't have asked God for more, but apparently I did. I just feel like God has something more in store for me.

I really think God has more in store for my career. I love my job and the novelty of working in the wedding industry will never get old. It's a lot of fun to look at the different wedding blogs and to get to share the experience of others going through the planning process. But again, very little depth. I don't want a job where the goal is to just make money. I try my best to serve my employers, my clients and my vendors, but to what avail? I desperately want to serve others in a way that has a little bit more impact.

I got an email from the program head for the graduate program I applied to at Seattle U. She was just letting us know that we'd have an answer by February 16th. There was some finality to submitting the application and making it official, but now I sit here with the stark reality that in 13 days my life is going to go one of two directions. For the first time in these last amazing 3 1/2 months, I'm afraid and I'm even a bit teary eyed. I feel like I want to be in grad school so badly, that I'm just not sure how well I'll handle the rejection and I hope this is what God has planned for me.

I'm lucky to have a friend that reminded me that God has a plan for me and it may not be what I expect, but it'll be the best place for me. To be honest, this was the first time someone said what I was thinking rather than pushing me one way or another. I feel quite a bit better but I'm still going to go cry because I'm a girl and sometimes we just need a good cry, but once I wake up tomorrow (my day off!!!) I know He'll have it under control.



  1. Aw man, Molly! I wish I could have been the person to tell you that! He ALWAYS has something planned for you, and even if it's not what you think you want, it is always ten times better when it's all played out.

    But, there's nothing wrong with a few prayers that what you want is what is best, so b earing that in mind...I'll pray you get what you want!

  2. What she said :) And after all, God IS the one that puts the desires in our hearts... Sometimes the path goes some interesting directions getting there, though.

    Love you :)